I Literally Hate Everyone Except For You
by euphobic
Summary: Bonnie and Chica make fun of each other, cuddle a little bit, mess around with Mike Schmidt and couldn't care less about what Freddy thinks.


**A/N: This is an AU of the game.**

THE COVER IS DRAWN BY mickinuo ON DEVIANTART

Before it gets a little too weird, this is a _humanized_ _version_. Well, not so much humanized, more like... think of them as androids. Really, REALLY, smart androids. Or maybe persocoms. Like the first game, they still have to be monitored by a night guard. In this case, it's Mike Schmidt.

Also before the questions come through, Bonnie is agender! Bonnie uses they/them/themself pronouns before you get confused. If you don't know what agender is, google it.

And with that, enjoy!

* * *

The three animatronics said goodbye in unison, smiling to their predominately under-aged audience and waved. The children tugged on their mother's shirts begging to stay, but 9:00 PM and the curtain closes was a harsh rule. Freddy couldn't believe how idiotic it was to take your baby to a pizzeria this time of night. Unfortunately for him, tampering with the customers was a guaranteed way to get the pizzeria closed.

He continued to watch the substantial amount of tantrums that bestowed him with an aching grin.

The smile washed from Bonnie's face as the curtain hit the stage ground. They hunched over and sighed dropping their guitar on the ground carelessly.

"Bonnie!" Chica hissed.

"Huh? O-oh yeah the... the um... uh..." Bonnie was dumbfounded, scratching their lower back.

Chica rolled her eyes. She picked up the guitar and threw the strap over Bonnie's shoulder. She could notice the obvious discomfort Bonnie was half purposely putting on for sympathy.

"Hmf. Look, if you want we can go backstage." Chica said with uncertainty.

Before Bonnie could express their excitement, Freddy pivoted to face the two.

"Don't you even think about it." He scolded in a fatherly tone.

Bonnie puckered their bottom lip out. Chica grinned to Bonnie, but Freddy didn't crack any sign of amusement.

"C'mon Pops, cut us some slack. 3 encore's in one night? We're tuckered to the bone!" Bonnie complained.

Freddy crossed his arms, flicking stares from Bonnie to Chica. He clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

"Fine." He sighed. "However, If you're needed you will come to me immediately, no questions asked. Understood?"

Bonnie and Chica had already took off to backstage, only turning their heads to give confirmation.

"Sure thing, Freddo!" Bonnie winked.

Chica always struggled to open the stiff door handle, she slammed her shoulder, once, twice, three times, into the door but it wouldn't budge.

"Weak." Bonnie scoffed.

Bonnie pounded the door with their foot and the door flung open, hitting against the wall from impact.

Chica remained silently jealous, they both wandered in and Bonnie gave a sigh of relief. Their guitar slipped from their finger tips and hit the ground with a jump. Bonnie breathed in the scent of decay and slid down the wall. They tucked their knees to their chin and hugged their legs, content now that their shift has ended.

"You falling asleep on me already?" Chica raised an eyebrow, mucking around with the once used animatronic heads that now bathed in dust.

"Join me." Bonnie's words sounded harsh, their knees glued their bottom jaw to the top.

"Not with that attitude." Chica joked.

"Please?"

Chica smiled and rolled her eyes, sliding her feet to Bonnie and plopping herself on the ground. She hunched her back and looked up at Bonnie.

Bonnie opened their arms. "Cuddle me."

"Someone's needy."

"I'm tired and grumpy. Some kid wouldn't stop pulling at the guitar strings and it made me mad. Cuddle me better."

"What if I don't want to?"

"I'll make you."

"Ha."

"I know the kitchen keys are kept. I'll eat the leftovers."

Chica's eyes widened.

"You won't."

"Test me, chicken shit." A cheeky grin spread across Bonnie's face.

Chica groaned and pounced into Bonnie's arms.

"Fuck you." She closed her eyes.

"Fuck you, too."

Chica rested her cheek on Bonnie's chest. Bonnie caressed Chica's hair from roots to ends gently, placing their other hand on her back. Chica gave a quiet smile of satisfaction, Bonnie was always gentle on her hair. They would brush her hair if the kids pulled at it, or if Chica's bed hair was far too messy for performance. She generally didn't need to brush it, though. It was naturally wavy at the ends, just below her shoulders, so it wasn't necessary to do anything more than a couple of finger strokes through the hair. She'd rip the small knots apart, biting her lip and wincing. Painful, yes, worth it? Yes.

"You asleep yet?"

"Not quite, guitar killed my back all night, though." Bonnie groaned.

"Need a massage?"

Bonnie paused.

"Yes."

Years and years of rolling and kneading dough made Chica believe she was a legend at massages. Skin and dough have the same kinda texture, she thought, she must be amazing. I mean, her pizza's turn out phenomenal, it's all in the hands.

Bonnie flipped themself on their stomach, resting their face in their crossed arms. Chica placed her knees to each side of Bonnie and sat on their lower back.

"Oof!" Bonnie groaned at the impact of Chica sitting so aggressively.

"Oh, quit your bitching, you should be thankful."

Chica stretched and pulled Bonnie's upper back, spreading her fingers outwards each time she applied pressure. It wasn't overly nice, but her fingers were warm and that was enough to make Bonnie tranquil. Soon, Bonnie and Chica both had their eyes closed.

"You're so much better than Freddy." Bonnie broke the silence, ensuring Chica didn't fall asleep whilst sitting on their back.

"As are you." She sounded drained.

"I meant when it comes to massages."

"Ha, no need to remind me. All the work in the kitchen pays off well." Chica felt beyond superior. She gave a smug smile.

"Seriously, Freddy is just terrible... his stubby fingers are nothing compared to yours, to be honest."

She snickered.

"Cheesy, I know."

"Beyond cheesy."

Bonnie raised an eyebrow and chuckled lightly.

"Y'know we still got about about an hour or so before the Night Shift dude comes, plus those late-night workers are leaving pretty soon, and they never check back here anyway."

"Yeah... what are you suggesting?" Chica asked with concern.

Bonnie turned their head to make eye contact with Chica, lowering their eyelid and and giving a sly smirk.

Chica raised an eyebrow, she took her hands away from Bonnie's upper back and tilted her head in confusion.

"I...? I, wh-what are you getting at?"

Bonnie jerked their head towards the camera and then back at Chica. Without saying a word, Bonnie smiled at her again.

It didn't take much longer for the realisation to strike Chica. She returned Bonnie's gesture with a devious smile.

"Pranks?"

"Pranks."


End file.
